This is from a sign on the 545 express bus I ride into seattle:
Thanks for riding ST Express. We know you could ride a lot of other things instead. Like a riding mower. But you’d have to pay for gas, and they only go like 8 miles per hour, so they’re not as cool as you think. And they’re loud, so it’s hard to listen to music. Unless you condsider the sound of shredding pinecones music. Seriously, take 5 minutes and pick up your pinecones before you mow. We’re not kidding, Steve. If one of those things shoots out from your stupid mower and hits our house again, we’re coming over there. Anyway, thanks for riding.