geek is the new cool

I’ve been teaching myself to play the ukulele. I started...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:17:55 -0700

I’ve been teaching myself to play the ukulele. I started writing a song with my wife a little while back, and I always envisioned sort of an old-shool jazz song (like 1930s old) strummed on a guitar or ukulele. Or both. Anyway, I transcribed it into a key that would be easy to play on the uke, and threw this together. Not the key it’ll be in (I could never sing the melody in this key, thus the whistling), but I’m having a blast learning to play.

Audio

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:12:16 -0700

This is my new all-time favorite tumbr page. This particular...

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 20:05:44 -0700

This is my new all-time favorite tumbr page. This particular post brought me immense joy.

hiphoptranscriptions:

Rapper: Kool Keith; Song: “3000”; Time Mark: 1:03; Artist: Dr. Octagon; Album: Dr. Octagonecologyst.
Listen: “3000”

Found a poem I wrote last summer

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:26:47 -0700

It doesn’t have a title. Let me know if you can figure out what it means. :)

The sound of glass
crushed between sole and frame
echoes—images, torn from once-holy shrines,
transform from idol to effigy.

Though past ecstasy begets new agony,
the passion is all but unchanged;
the fallen goddess, vilified,
is worshipped all the same.

A track I did recently for this youtube video:...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 22:27:43 -0700

A track I did recently for this youtube video: http://bit.ly/Yc230E

Just a little mashup I did a few years back. Had to post it...

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 20:16:58 -0800

Just a little mashup I did a few years back. Had to post it because listening to the NIN / Carly Rae mashup reminded me

This pretty much sums up why I despise Reddit (and those who...

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 02:05:27 -0800

This pretty much sums up why I despise Reddit (and those who champion it) with my whole soul. Congratulations for killing the internet, you piece of crap website.

P.S. If I ever hear somebody doing the Reddit “let’s just randomly add ‘le’ in front of a noun because it sounds so quirky and cute” thing in person, I will slap the taste out of their mouth.

nedroidcomics:

neilcicierega:

here, someone made this rebloggable

It makes me very sad that so many people have this same belief.

Another track I made for the same game, in the same vein.

Wed, 13 Feb 2013 15:29:23 -0800

Another track I made for the same game, in the same vein.

A song I did at my last job. I had so much fun making a 1980s,...

Wed, 13 Feb 2013 15:08:09 -0800

A song I did at my last job. I had so much fun making a 1980s, “Breakin’”-style track. Made me laugh when I dug it up.

the internet, man. dang.

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 01:52:00 -0800

For those of us that were alive and aware of the world before the internet caught on and became something that the everyone was a part of, there was kind of a depressing shock as we realized that almost all the stuff we thought was unique to us is common and it’s quite easy to find people who do, say, or think similar things.

Oh, you mean your family has that tradition too?

Oh, you mean my dad didn’t make that phrase up?

Oh, you mean when you were a kid you thought the same thing about the same cartoon character?

Ohhhh, you mean you used to think what I think now, and then you grew out of it?

Blerg. What a depressingly humbling thing the internet has become for us.

But then I think, So what is it like to grow up with the internet, and know that you’re not a special snowflake?

I don’t judge you all so harshly for your mopey, pathetic ennui anymore, you silly little Millenials, you. You’ve grown up, for your whole thinking life, under the inescapable, undeniable weight of how unique you’re not, because your main communication medium constantly reminds you of it.

Man, the internet is depressing when you think about it. Ugh. I’m gonna go use Microsoft Word or something. I promise this existential crisis will be cured in the morning… at least, I think it will… for a while.

Take a listen to this sound scene I created. Can you tell me...

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 17:32:51 -0800

Take a listen to this sound scene I created. Can you tell me what happened without me telling you anything about it?

Google Voice transcription is terrible, in the best possible way.

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 19:38:39 -0800

I’m not even going to post the actual voicemail, because you don’t need to hear it to know that this isn’t even remotely close to what my dad said:

“Okay. How you doing them there in about that I’m that I’m on my way home and or you know area and Borscht technician answer was behind me are you doing 5 No, they.”

Saw the drunkest drunk driver ever last night.

Fri, 09 Nov 2012 13:47:00 -0800

So, last night, Wifey and I are out on the sidewalk, taking our dog out to pee on the grass. We’re standing about halfway between the north and south entrances to our complex, and this white ford taurus comes out of the north entrance and starts driving, painfully slowly down the street past us.

As it passes us, it lows to almost a stop, then stops about 10 feet past us, and sits there for a few seconds. It then, slowly, turns right, up onto the sidewalk, and crashes into the bushes on the far side of the sidewalk. The dumbass sits there for a minute, then backs up onto the street, drives down to the south entrance of the complex, and tries to turn into it. Instead, he crashes into the curb on the left side of the entrance. Captain Drunkypants then backs up again, and drives into the parking lot, where I immediately turns into a parking spot and, once again, crashes into the curb.

After the Dog did her business, we headed back into the complex, and walked past the car. It was still running and all the windows were fogged up (we’d noticed that as he drove past us originally), but it was just sitting there. So, we memorized his license plate number and called the cops on his ass. It just makes me furious because he could have easily killed, maimed, or disabled us. We’d been walking on that section of the sidewalk just moments before. Hope something emotionally scarring happens to him in jail.

This is part of a work in progress that my wife and I...

Thu, 25 Oct 2012 20:32:00 -0700

This is part of a work in progress that my wife and I commissioned from the immensely talented Aaron Jasinski. We couldn’t possibly be more excited for it.

The piece is an artistic interpretation of a song I wrote for my wife when we were newly married. Listen here:

jasinskiart:

Working on a commission tonight.
#robot #art #painting #sky #crashandburn

Made with Paper

Sun, 23 Sep 2012 11:48:00 -0700

Made with Paper

On Getting Canned, Losing it All, and Looking Forward

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 01:53:57 -0700

Two weeks ago, my wife and I announced that we’re having our first child in March. We’d known for several weeks and it felt fantastic to finally share the good news with everyone. We had been window-shopping for homes online in preparation for the new addition, and that Satuday we casually attended an open house nearby. A little over 24 hours later and we were looking at houses with the realtor we’d met at the open house. At the last house we visited, we knew that it was the house we wanted. It was perfect for our family. It was everything we wanted in a first home. three bedrooms, a studio space, a huge back yard, even a well-maintained garden! By the end of the next week, we’d officially reached mutual acceptance with the sellers of the house. We were going to buy our first home! It seemed like everything was going right in our life.

In my life, the good and the bad never seem to get evenly spread around. The bad all clumps up together and the good all happens at once. Usually, though, there’s a lot of neutral stuff in between the good and bad sections. This time, however, the bad came screaming in at eighty miles per hour, pulling a trailer, and rear-ended the good.

We came out to our car Saturday morning to find that somebody had taken the left front wheel off of our car, slashed the tire, jammed the whole thing under the body of the car, and stolen the lugnuts and hubcap. The policeman tells us he thinks the person was trying to steal the catalytic converter. He tells us that another car in the complex was broken into the same night. He tells us, very politely, that our complex is pretty much a cesspool. “Not to disparage your residence, but we have a lot of problems in that area.”

Luckily, my dad was able to come up and help us out. He greased some palms at the Honda dealership to get us some new lugnuts. He and I put the spare on, and then drove to an auto wrecking yard and grabbed the last tire of my car’s size. We ended up coming out of it pretty inexpensively, but the reminder of where I live, and the caliber of the people who live in my immediate vicinity stuck with me. My wife and I took solace, however, in the fact that we’d be moving into a nice home in a quiet neighborhood soon.

I went in to work the next Monday and went through my day as usual. Mid-afternoon, the CEO and CTO pull me aside (it’s a small startup, so I talk to these guys regularly), and inform me that I’m being laid off. For a few moments, I don’t breath, blink, or move. I get mild tunnel vision, my skin flushes, and I get the dreamy “this can’t be real” feeling because I can’t believe that the worst possible words are coming out of my bosses’ mouths. I go back to my desk, speechless, the dreaminess and tunnel vision still not completely gone. I’m a bit shellshocked. It finally hits me and I head outside to call my wife.

At this point, the adrenaline is catching up to whatever brought on the numbness from minutes before, and I’m hyperventilating a little bit. My wife answers and I don’t beat around the bush. “I just got laid off,” I spit out in despair.

Now, at this point, let me take a brief moment to explain to you about my wife. She is, without equivocation, the best thing that has ever happened to me. Never in a million years would I have ever guessed that I would find a woman so supportive and loving and kind to be my wife. With that in mind, think of how devastating this news is, not just for me, but for her, and for us. She’s pregnant, we’re about to buy a house, and I’m losing my job. The natural reaction would be for her to start bawling into the phone and screaming or freaking out like I clearly already was. And that reaction would be completely understandable and not something that anybody could hold against her.

My wife instead said this, “Jake, it’s going to be ok. Things are gonna be fine. Do you need me to pick you up from the bus?” I told her I had till the end of the week and was going to finish up the work day and then head home at my normal time. We get the most devastating news ever, and instead of freaking out with me, she shows immense strength and compassion, and tells me that things are going to be ok. Now, I’m sure that as soon as I got off the phone she screamed or bawled or something else, but before all that, she injected some peace into my heart and mind. Helluva lady.

I went through the last two hours of my work day in a haze, instant messaging with my coworkers about the layoffs (there were a few others as well), and feeling awful about the entire situation. Could I have done something different? Should I have worked harder at finding a new job before this happened? Have I completely let down my wife?

I call my parents on the way home, and their sympathy almost makes me break down in tears. Almost. But I keep it together and get on the bus for home. All the way home, my stomach is full of knots. I’m cold and shaky (despite the weather in the mid 70s), and sweaty. I feel sick. I feel like the world is moving a thousand miles an hour around me while I shamble in slow motion home. I get inside, and like usual, our dog is losing her mind with excitement that I’m home. My wife embraces me and I start to lose it again, but clamp back down. She’s in the middle of making dinner, so I let her get back to that and I slump down on the couch and let the dog climb all over me, showing me how happy she is that I’m home.

From the kitchen (which, in our 680 sq/ft apartment, is about 10 feet away) my wife tells me something that must have been some kind of revelation from god or womanly intuition or something, because it’s exactly what I need to hear, “Jake, I want you to know that no matter what, I am not mad at you, or upset with you, or disappointed in you.” Well, ladies and gentlemen, after keeping a tight lid on it up to this point, I finally lost it. I broke down.

I can not stress to you the life-altering, breathtaking, borderline magical power of having a loving, supportive wife.

Though we were both terrified of our new situation and devastated about the the impact it would have on buying a home, my wife was thinking of me. She knows me well, and knew that I would probably be beating myself up about it. She knew that I would feel the whole weight of both of our sadness on my shoulders. And she told me exactly what I needed to hear.

I didn’t feel much like eating the delicious dinner she made (though I’ve had several helpings of the leftovers since), and I kind floated through the rest of the evening with a sense of disappointment and despondency floating through my head. I told myself that I could have that one night to feel sorry for myself and be frustrated, angry, and negative. I decided that after that, I would be productive, optimistic, and driven. I wasn’t sure how, because I tend to be kind of a pessimistic dude, but I knew I didn’t really have a choice. I didn’t have time for that crap.

Wifey called and talked to our realtor and the mortgage officer we were going to use, and told them that I no longer had a steady income and we no longer qualified for the mortgage. It was official. We were losing the house. The house we’d already moved into emotionally. The house that was going to be were we started our family. Where our baby would come home from the hospital, and where it’d take its first steps. Where our dog would be able to run at full speed in the back yard and chase squirrels. We were being banished back to the world where people randomly take your wheel off your car in the middle of the night to try to steal a car part, and when they fail at doing it because they’re probably high, they slash your tires and steal your lugnuts to spite you.

I went to bed earlier than usual that night, but couldn’t sleep. All I could think about was how I had no idea what I was going to do. About how we’d lost the house. And I couldn’t stop wondering if somebody was outside right then trying to do something to my car. I finally did what I should have done hours previous, and I started praying. Not your typical, going-through-the-motions kind of prayer. I was talking to god and begging for help. I was terrified about my future and heartbroken about the present. I asked for comfort. I asked for guidance. I asked for opportunity. I asked that, somehow, by miraculous intervention, I could be positive and optimistic about all of this. That somehow I might feel hope. After a solid half-hour conversation with god, I went to sleep.

I woke sometime after 5am because my wife was weeping in bed next to me. Losing the house was so devastating, especially when we had been so close. She worded it perfectly: “I feel like my fiancé has broken up with me three days before the wedding.”

(NOTE: Waking up to your wife crying in bed next to you is pretty much the worst thing in the world. Just saying.)

I had to visit my chiropractor the next day, and my wife had to work, and we needed to visit my parents, so we all piled into the car the next morning and headed south. Most of my day was going to be devoted to job hunting. Job applications, résumés, and cover letters make my head swim and my blood boil. They make me feel despondent and tired. They suck the life out of me. But I had promised myself that night before was my only allotted ”feeling sorry for myself” time, and so I approached the day with every ounce of can-do that I had in me. Furthermore, I’d asked God to help me be optimistic and hopeful, so I figured I’d try to meet him part way. If he was going to send me the ability to be optimistic, I might was well try to act on the ability I was asking for.

I will accept no other word short of “miraculous” to describe the fact that, as the day progressed, not only did I not get depressed, or feel hopeless, or get angry, but I actually began to feel positive. I began to feel like something good was in my future. I began to feel like things were going to get better. I felt a miraculous aura of comfort, optimism, and begin to infuse me. It ebbed and flowed a bit, that first full day on the job hunt, but as we drove home that night, it struck me in what I can only describe as a revelation. I turned to my wife and said, “You know what? Things are going to be ok. I know it.”

My wife, being the aforementioned saint that she is, was way ahead of me: “Oh, I know that. I don’t doubt it one bit.”

If you doubt my use of the word miraculous, I will tell you that the positivity and hopefulness hasn’t ebbed since that moment. I have been productive and positive in the face of an enormous loss, and that is not normal behavior for me.

The next morning, I got up to go back to work. I sat, mentally poring over the job leads that friends had fed me on the hunt the previous day, as I ate a bowl of cereal and watched a little Law & Order with wifey. I suddenly get an unexpected text from a coworker telling me that he has lead for some contract work for me and wanted to help. This was the second time where I broke down. It made me realize just how blessed I am to have so many kind, generous, compassionate people in my life. My wife, my parents, dozens of coworkers and friends spread across the state and country. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought about how people were going out of their way to help me out in this difficult time.

I got to work and the barrage of kindness continued. It seemed like every one of my coworkers has some lead on a position, or a job, or a company that was hiring, or a good staffing agent. My coworkers, whom I was always certain I annoyed the hell out of, were all reaching out to help. One of them even insisted on buying me lunch even though he could easily justify pinching his pennies, he himself getting his hours cut back due to the same circumstances that led to the layoffs.

The outpouring of compassion and kindness we have been shown in this tough time has been more than I could have ever dreamed of. I can’t express enough gratitude for the wonderful people I have in my life.

I finally understand why my mom always cried whenever we watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” when I was a kid. I feel much like George Bailey did at the end of the movie as he reads Clarence’s parting words: ”Remember: no man is a failure who has friends.”

And that’s where I stand now. It’s about 1:45 AM as I finish this up, and I’m about to go to bed so I can wake up and face my last day at this job that I’ve been working at for four years. When I leave work this coming afternoon, I won’t have a job. I’ve been an independent contractor this whole time, so I don’t have the safety net of unemployment benefits. I’m letting go of the trapeze with no safety net, and I’m trusting that there are hands out there in the open space. But I know those hands are there. I know that god is there and that kind and generous friends and family are there.

Now, the next adventure begins. Wish me luck!

how to make a simple curry

Wed, 29 Aug 2012 13:41:30 -0700

I posted some pics online last week of curry I’d made for dinner. (Yeah, I’m that annoying guy that takes pictures of his food. However, my wife and I make some pretty damn photogenic - not to mention delicious - food.) I got a bunch of comments on it and a lot of people had the reaction that I have when people talk about curry: They started craving curry. A couple even asked me for my recipe. So, that is what I’m bringing you today.

This is an easy recipe to execute. I don’t really do much beyond the basics, and the basics are not complex. However, good curry takes time to get everything the right texture, flavor, and consistency. So, set aside 1-2 hours for all of the preparation, cooking, simmering, and what not. But don’t worry, most of that time is just spent waiting.

You will need:

~2 chicken breasts, or 2lbs of chicken (If you have to err in one direction, err in the direction of having too much, because this recipe makes a LOT of curry and you don’t want to skimp on the meat)
3 tablespoons curry powder (I recommend DD Bell madras curry powder)
~2 teaspoons salt (You may end up using more)
Half a stick of butter (or, if you want to get all healthy about it, use 2 tablespoons coconut oil, but butter is much more authentic and tastes better, I.M.O. If you want to get really authentic, use ghee. Here’s a tutorial on how to make your own.)
One large white onion (thought i suppose other colors of onion are fine too)
The equivalent mass of 2 russet potatoes in whatever kind of potato you prefer. (This last time I made it, I used white potatoes.)
1 bell pepper (i prefer green)
1 can coconut milk (13.5 oz)
Water
2 cups dry rice (for most purposes, I personally thing that nothing can top jasmine rice. it’s the most fragrant and delicious rice and has a great texture. however, if you want to be super authentic then use basmati)

Other optional ingredients I use:

Garlic (3 or 4 cloves, peeled and crushed, in a garlic press or with the flat side of a big knife)
Yogurt (a thick type, like greek yogurt. A half cup or so.)
Sriracha Sauce
Shallots (I don’t know how shallots are measured. Add as many as you’d like.)
Cashews (trust me. it’s great)

Now for the instructions.

Bring a large skillet up to medium heat. Large skillet. Biggest one you’ve got. Bigger the better. I use my big, 12” cast iron skillet and it’s just barely big enough.

While the skillet is heating up, cut up the chicken breasts into bite-size pieces. I usually cut them into roughly 1cm cubes, but “bite size” is a better, subjective measurement. Once cut up the skillet should at least be warm enough to melt butter, so put the butter in the skillet and get it melted. I found that at this point, two tablespoons of butter doesn’t seem like that much, considering how much other stuff there is. Next time I make it, I’m probably going to augment it with a little added coconut oil (or extra butter, let’s be honest). Feel free to do this. Or don’t. Mine turned out fine without it.

Put the chicken pieces in a bowl and add the curry powder and salt. Mix until all the chicken is covered. Pour all of the contents of the bowl (including the powder and salt that did not stick to the chicken) into the skillet.

Chop the onion into large chunks. I cut mine in half and then cut the halves into sixths (so, 12 pieces total), and add it to the skillet. If you’re going to add the garlic or shallots, do it now.

Now for your first waiting period. The chicken and onions will cook in the pan until until the onions have begun to brown. This takes several minutes. Move stuff around in your skillet from time to time to make sure things are getting evenly cooked.

Once the onions have browned, pour in two cups of water. If you want to use the Sriracha sauce, add a few squirts in now (a little goes a lomg way). Thus begins the next waiting period. This one will take much longer. Waiting period depends on heat of stove and elevation. Could be as little as 10 minutes, but will likely be more like 20 or 30. Basically, just cook it down until it has a consistency that you like. Cook uncovered. (You can add the cashews now, or wait till you add the potatoes, depending on how soft you’d like them to be. If you want them softer, add them now.)

Use this time to prepare the potatoes. Leave the skins on (unless you’re a fussy six year old) and cut them up, like the chicken, into bite size pieces. The smaller they are, the quicker they’ll cook.

Once the sauce has reached an acceptable thickness, pour in the coconut milk, and add in the potatoes. Now is also when you’d add the yogurt (and the cashews if you wanted them to be firmer). Keep the heat at medium and cook until a butter knife will easily slide into one of the potato pieces. Should take 10-20 minutes. Now is a good time to taste and see if you’d like to add more salt. You can’t really overcook a curry (unless you cooked it for like a week), so if you’re not sure, just cook it a little longer.

While you’re waiting for this last step, cook your rice. As I said before, jasmine rice is the tastiest. If you don’t know how to cook rice, and don’t have a rice cooker, then here it is in a nutshell:

Put your rice and water in a pot. (Always use a 2:1 / water:rice ratio. In this case you’re doing 4 cups water and 2 cups rice)
Bring it to a boil.
Once it achieves a rolling boil, bring the heat back down to a simmer (“Low” on the stove)
Once the bubbles have died back down, put a lid on the pot and set the time for 20 minutes.
When the timer goes off, your rice is done.

When the potatoes have finished cooking, make sure the sauce is the desired thickness. If it’s how you like it, then reduce the heat to low and wait for rice to finish cooking.

Once the rice is done, you’re ready to eat. Enjoy!

Chuck Russom FX Is Back

Fri, 03 Aug 2012 19:04:16 -0700

I totally just added five of these sound libraries to my wish list.

chuck-russom:

In case you missed the news, last week I re-launched my sound effects site. There was a huge amount of demand for my old libraries, I found a quick and easy way to get the site back up, so it has returned:

http://www.chuckrussomfx.com/

Also, apologies to those who subscribe to my RSS feed. I’ve had some issues with this blog lately, I fixed the problems yesterday, as a result of the fix, all previous blog posts were re-pushed out the feed. Sorry for the overload.

Story of my friggin life. laughingsquid: Current Map of Facial...

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 01:11:05 -0700

Story of my friggin life.

laughingsquid:

Current Map of Facial Hair by Ric Carrasquillo

I think this is everybody’s reaction to their first fancy...

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 22:18:07 -0700

I think this is everybody’s reaction to their first fancy phone.